Subject: The Oxford Dictionary's latest definition
The Oxford Dictionary's latest definition of thefollowing words.
*Divorce:
*Future tense of marriage*
Cigarette:
*A pinch of tobacco rolled in paper with fire
at one end and a fool on the other. *
Lecture:
*An art of transferring information from the
notes of the lecturer to the notes of the
students without passing through the minds
of either.*
Compromise:
*The art of dividing a cake in such a way that
everybody believes he got the biggest piece.*
Tears:
*The hydraulic force by which masculine will-power
is defeated by feminine water power.*
Dictionary:
*A place where success comes before work.*
Conference Room:
*A place where everybody talks, nobody listens
and everybody disagrees later on.*
Classic:
*A book which people praise, but do not read.*
Smile:
*A curve that can set a lot of things straight.*
Office:
*A place where you can relax after your strenuous home
life.*
Yawn:
*The only time some married men ever get to open their
mouth.*
Etc:
*A sign to make others believe that you know more than
you actually do.*
Committee:
*Individuals who can do nothing individually and
sit to decide that nothing can be done together.*
Experience:
*The name men give to their mistakes.*
Atom Bomb:
*An invention to end all inventions.*
Philosopher:
*A fool who torments himself during life, to be
spoken of when dead.*
Diplomat:
*A person who tells you to go to hell in such a way
that you actually look forward to the trip.*
Opportunist:
*A person who starts taking a bath if he accidentally
falls into a river.*
Optimist:
*A person who while falling from Eiffel tower says in
midway 'See I am not injured yet!!' *
Miser:
*A person who lives poor so that he can die rich.*
Father:
*A banker provided by nature.*
Criminal:
*A guy no different from the rest...except that he got
caught.*
Politician:
*One who shakes your hand before elections and your
confidence after.*
Doctor:
*A person who kills your ills by pills, and kills
you with his bills.*
Boss:
*Someone who is early when you are late and late
when you are early.* $送花$ $送花$ $送花$ ROTFL!!!!
I love it, the English humour!
So black! :D :D $支持$ $送花$
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